Author: schmidtkathryn

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Motherhood is Hard Enough, Keep Scrolling

schmidtkathryn

Hey Sheryl, No one asked you your opinion. Keep yours to yourself unless you are asked. Even then you don’t have to be a jerk about it! Im so tired of these mommy wars going around.

Every single mother child relationship is different. Who am I to tell you, you are doing it wrong? Breastfeeding your child? Cool! Formula feeding your child? awesome! Disposable Diapering your child? Sweet! Cloth Diapering YOUR child? fantastic! All of the MANY decisions you make for your child are just that, They are your decision. Ill be there if you need help on finding out what your options are every step of they way.

Keep the words from our past in your mind, ” If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

In the words of Ellen DeGeneres ” Be kind to one another”

~Katy Schmidt The Nurturing Doula, LLC Birth Doula, CPST and CBE                                   805-791-8325                                                               http://www.thenurturingdoula.com                             thenurturingdoula@hotmail.com

all, Parenting

I don’t have my s*@# together.

schmidtkathryn

I too have days that I don’t know the difference between up and down.  

I have days I don’t want to clean, cook or take care of any one. I just want to simply be, simply exist. Days when my children are so overwhelming and loud I can’t function. And to tell you the truth they aren’t being bad, they’re just being kids. Those are the moments I feel like the world is flying by me. When I feel like I’m zoning out. 

I can tell you this much my kids are happy most of the time. They are clean, fed and VERY LOVED! 

These moments DO NOT make me a bad mom. These moments make me human. 

As a mom you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. You feel like you need to handle it all. Girl let me tell you, you can but it may make you loose your sanity. The days of moms keeping the children happy, keeping the house clean, having dinner done and made by the time your spouse gets home every day are gone. We live in a different world now. If you are a mom who can do this, PLEASE teach me your ways! Many of the moms I’ve run into can’t.

At the end of the day if your laundry is still not folded its ok. If your dishes need to be washed and you are too exhausted its ok. If your child is upset, talk to them, soothe them.  Is your spouse happy? If not how can you help?

In my home we live, we laugh, we love and we deal with dog hair.

~ Katy Schmidt                                                                                                                                 The Nurturing Doula, LLC                                                                                                          Birth Doula, CPST and CBE                                                                                                           805-791-8325                                                                                     http://www.thenurturingdoula.com                                            thenurturingdoula@hotmail.com

 

all, Parenting

Annoying Kid Obsessions

schmidtkathryn

Heres the story, there was a toddler we’ll call her Sam. Sam loved gold fish so much, thats all she ate for months.  Ok she did eat some other things but not many things. Her mom and dad tried everything to get her to eat something different, and to no avail she wouldn’t. When Sam saw her pediatrician, he said its ok! He said just keep trying those other foods, she’ll come around. Whats funny is,  she was only a week away from being food adventurous again!

Kids will always have some form of obsession and they will out grow it!

These are the top 5 kid obsessions:

  • Food obsessions – Favorites they will only eat, or foods they once loved and now decide they hate
  • Videos – Kids watch their favorite movie over and over again! Because of this they can quote it verbatim. Which drives you bonkers and now you can quote it too!
  • Toys – They will want and have their FAVORITE toy, and beg you for it left and right then just when you get used to it, it changes.
  • Flash lights – They want them for bed every night. Im tired of changing out batteries. This is one I can’t wait for mine to out grow!
  • Repeating words – Toddlers are so smart, they hear you talking to them and other people, even when you don’t think they are listening. Around toddlers you MUST watch your mouth! They get into this faze of repeating everything! Some how they know when to be the most embarrassing.

What were some of your kids obsessions? What was the one thing you couldn’t wait for them to out grow?

~ Katy Schmidt                                                                                                                                 The Nurturing Doula, LLC                                                                                                          Birth Doula, CPST and CBE                                                                                                           805-791-8325                                                                                     www.thenurturingdoula.com                                            thenurturingdoula@hotmail.com

all, Parenting

We only live once, enjoy it!

schmidtkathryn

Life is short!

 

Remember the little moments, for those are the moments that seem the biggest as we get older.

When:

  • Your little one smiles up at you just after a feeding then falls asleep, take a mental picture. Remember this mental picture when you are having a tough moment with your tiny baby.
  • You ask your kids to do something and they do it right away. Remember to praise them, they will happen more and more if you praise them.
  • Your toddler who is learning to talk says something you’ve been trying to get them to say for days/weeks. Remember this moment when your three-nager starts sassing you.
  • Your child comes home from school to share with you they learned the pledge of allegiance and they recite the whole thing to you. Remember this moment when they doubt their self worth.

These little moments you will remember the most.

  • Your teen is going from elementary school to middle school they are going from a sweet elementary kid to a middle schooler who thinks they know everything
  • Your child meets their one true love who they want to marry, they introduce them to you. You look at your child with the eyes of a new parent, you feel like you just blinked and then they’re off living their own life. Making their own family and you couldn’t be prouder!

These are the moments will shine into y

our brain and heart forever.

  • Your spouse comes home form deployment and looks at your children with a blessed heart. This moment needs to be remembered and maybe even documented just in case they deploy again. 
  • Your parents are getting older, you celebrate mothers day/ fathers day with them. Enjoy when they want to reminisce about when you were young or when they were young, even if its a story you already heard. There will be a day when they aren’t there anymore, You’ll look back and remember those little moments.  

If you can, document these little moments.

These are the moments that last a lifetime. Life is short, eat the cake, buy the shoes, take lots of pictures!

Take care of your self and your family. Enjoy those moments.

~ Katy Schmidt                                                                                                                                 The Nurturing Doula, LLC                                                                                                          Birth Doula, CPST and CBE                                                                                                           805-791-8325                                                                                     http://www.thenurturingdoula.com                                            thenurturingdoula@hotmail.com

all, Parenting

Easier Shopping with Kids

schmidtkathryn

Whether they are babies, toddlers, preschoolers or school aged children, shopping with them can be challenging.

Here are a few things to make each stage easier:

Babies:

  • Take them directly after a feeding if possible. Who knows maybe they’ll nap!
  • Make your list at home during nap time, so you can focus on what you need
  • Schedule your groceries to be picked up or even delivered. Sure having them picked up or delivered is fine most of the time, but when your babies are little the more you force yourself to go out the easier it will be.
  • For the first few weeks if you need groceries have someone else get them. Delivering a baby is hard on your whole body.
  • I found baby carriers can make shopping a little easier
  • Remember infant carrier carseats are safer in the basket not on top where smaller children sit.

Toddlers:

  • Bring snacks, no really bring snacks with an extra ziplock for the snacks they drop on the floor
  • Bring a few toys for distracting also get your hands on some of these rings if you don’t have them yet.
  • Make your list at home
  • Get cup strap which works on soppy cups, bottles, and some toys, for those moments when your little one wants to throw their cup.
  • If you have a lengthy list try to take some breaks, bonus points to the stores with fish! Kids love fish.
  • If you have a “helpful” toddler encourage them to grab something off the shelf and “put” it in the cart.

Preschoolers:

  • Preschoolers (most) like to be independent and not ride in the cart, which means chasing them down when they decide to run. When I first encountered my own runner, I took the time to teach him why we couldn’t just run off from mom.
  • Bring snacks, no really bring snacks with an extra ziplock for the snacks they drop on the floor
  • Make your list at home
  • Try to teach them about the produce you are picking out even if its just practicing how to say it
  • Have them count items you are buying more than one of
  • Read a few things off of your list to them before heading in, have them grab those items.

 

School aged:

  • This is the perfect age to teach them how to pick produce, how to watch out for the dented cans and check expiration dates on the dairy.
  • Have your child help you make your list at home.
  • Depending on the age, have them read the list to you
  • Try a new food with them, this will encourage them to be more adventurous with their food.
  • As they become older challenge them to find the best price on an item, remember the whole grocery list, or even pick all of the ingredients for a meal.

 

From the moment they were born they have craved knowledge.

They need to spread their wings and learn with their whole body. Shopping with children won’t always be terrible. If  you only have a baby now and its currently easy to shop with your little one, it may continue to be easy or it could get harder. With every age know that there can be a melt down. Its how you handle it that makes a difference.

When your little one is having a melt down and someone, like me, stops and says: I’ve been there and it gets better know that they mean it!

It takes a village to raise kids, really it does! Lastly on rare occasions you find someone who stops and tries to distract your little one briefly. They see you on the brink of a melt down yourself and they speak to your child with a kind soft voice.

I have been on both ends of this spectrum. When I encounter this situation I do not get too close to the child as that may seem life threatening. I try to talk to the kiddo who is most likely at check out with his/her parent and district them with “hey thats a cool shirt or toy!” Sometimes its the little things that help other moms out. Happy shopping!

~ The Nurturing Doula, LLC

    Katy Schmidt

    805-791-8325

    http://www.thenurturingdoula.com

    thenurturingdoula@hotmail.com

 

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You are a great mom!

schmidtkathryn

You are NOT a terrible mother. 

Motherhood takes out every last spec of patience. Motherhood gives you these moments where you can loose your mind or go with the flow. Motherhood is when they are so terrible that day like little demons and then they go to bed only to look like sweet angels. You aren’t failing them, when you loose your patience. 

You aren’t failing them when you just need a break, or to go to the restroom by yourself.

You are NOT failing them when you leave them for hours with a sitter to go pamper yourself. You are showing your child, self love is important. You are giving your mind and soul a reboot. A good mom looses her patience and returns with a hug or your own type of affection. A good mom, finds that little doubt in her body that maybe she lost her mind a little to much on a kid. A good mom feeds her kids, clothes her kids, and loves her kids.

See the moments…. be in them…….don’t fight the fun moments.

 I remember looking back on my childhood, remembering my mom teaching me how to cook, bake and sew. I remember my mom letting the messes happen in the moment. Im sure she was stressed about the mess, but I sure don’t remember it. She lived in the moments with us kids. Her smile was and still is infectious. Our moms are our world! 

Don’t beat yourself up

When you know you need a break take it, even just a minute or two. Don’t let guilt sink in, remind yourself its ok to take care of you. If you don’t take care of your needs you will run out of steam to take care of your family. When you need someone to remind you, you are on the right track, get ahold of me. Im a great hype “man”. I believe in you! You are a great mom!!!

Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, you ARE a wonderful mom! 

Be kind to yourself! If you are expecting and want a hype “man” on your birth team contact me.

– Katy Schmidt

The Nurturing Doula, LLC

805-791-8325

http://www.thenurturingdoula.com

thenurturingdoula@hotmail.com

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Top 5 Summer activities

schmidtkathryn

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Summer is right around the corner!

We all know that feeling of what should we do with the kids today? The park again!? No, we did that yesterday and the day before! If you are tired of the same summer activities over and over you’ve come to the right place. I’ve compiled the top 5 inexpensive things to do with your kids over summer break, and one of them is free! Each title is hyperlinked to the corresponding place.

Flint Children’s Museum

  • Admission: adults $6 and children $6
  • Hands on exhibits for children of all ages
  • No limit how long you stay and play
  • Snacks and beverages for purchase lunch can be brought and eaten there, but only in designated areas

  • personal favorite: the music room

 

Fort Clarkston

  • Admission: Children $10 Mon-Thur, $12 Fri-Sun
  • Slimbing area
  • Slides
  • Scooters to ride
  • Arcade
  • Gift shop
  • Cafe and bar

  • Personal favorite: Children and adults receive wrist bands, they can not leave with anyone else but you.

Lake Callis

  • Admission: Day pass for Davison Residents $5 per vehicle, $10 per vehicle for non residents
  • Lake to play in
  • Splash pad: Admission:  Residents $2 and Non-Residents $3, 2 yrs and under free
  • Concession stand
  • Grills
  • Kayak and water board rentals
  • Friday night movies on the beach

  • Personal Favorite: Splash pad is gated so little ones are contained

Bowling   

  • 2 free games each day for kids registered
  • Shoe rental is included at some bowling centers

  • Personal Favorite: Bowling gives kids a chance to practice their hand eye coordination

Columbiaville Library

  • Admission: Free!
  • Summer reading program for children and adults
  • Daily activities for the kids 
  • Prize drawing each week for adults
  • End of the summer party for kids and adults

  • Personal Favorite: It encourages reading for all ages

 

If you found this helpful to make your child’s summer fulfilled please share it!

 

– Katy Schmidt

The Nurturing Doula, LLC

805-791-8325

http://www.thenurturingdoula.com

thenurturingdoula@hotmail.com

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Motherhood is overwhelming…

schmidtkathryn

Motherhood is wonderful, beautiful and overwhelming.

 Hear me out, I love being a mom. My kids are my world, but they take a toll on my brain and body sometimes. You bring home your tiny baby and they are your whole world! They make you feel like the Grinch who’s heart grew three sizes bigger. The first few nights home you know they are getting used to being outside the womb, so they need time to adjust. Then one night they can’t be consoled by anything.

Your thinking:

  • where did this demon come from?
  • What did i do wrong?
  • The answer is?…. Nothing. You did nothing wrong, babies cry for all different reasons. This faze of unconsolable crying doesn’t last forever. As your little one gets older, they start walking, talking and testing their limits. They learn by trial and error. At times it may seem like they enjoy pushing every button. Children need boundaries to keep them safe but not to limit their learning. 

When your children are at your wits end, take a few minutes to yourself. Its ok to take time for yourself and your sanity. The overwhelming feeling in motherhood will get better, eventually you won’t feel like you need a break as often. Its important to remember that every single mother feels this.

It is NORMAL.

Take time for you, spend time with a friend often.

Take time for you! Take care of yourself! Call on your “village” when you need them! If you would like to discuss preparing for motherhood before your little one is born please contact The Nurturing Doula, LLC for more information.

~ Katy Schmidt                                                                                                                                  The Nurturing Doula, LLC                                                                                                              805-791-8325                                                                                                         www.thenurturingdoula.com

 

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Aunts are Important

schmidtkathryn

Whether your child has a related aunt or a close friend who acts like an aunt to your child, they are important to your child’s growth. You see, our children need more than just their parents love and care.

Aunts provide the love and support of a parent with the confidentiality of a friend.

Moms, when an aunt says they would like to take your kids for a play date or something, let them. They enjoy taking your child to the park and watching them smile and laugh. They get to be in a position to take them to do something fun and bring them back. You may be getting a break which is fantastic! You are also enriching your child’s and your child’s aunts life. Your child is with someone you trust, so they feel safe. Safe enough to break free and not be afraid to fall, but if they fall they know their aunt is their safety net to help them out.

Their aunts get to be in the unique position to see the child grow and push boundaries that may not be pushed as far with a parent present.

She sees your children as innocent humans who want to have fun and play. She sees you overwhelmed and overworked and wants to help. Whether she’s a mother herself or not, the despair in your eyes of “I just need a minute” is seen by her.  Aunts see the mom as the person she felt she was, before kids. In the moment of crazy, when Aunts come in and handle the kids. Moms have this brief moment of,  “Wait! No don’t take over I can handle this.” Then it leaves her, she knows you aren’t judging her parenting, you are simply there to help. When the moment is over and done, she thanks you profusely. You tell her its no biggie! To you the kids are easy to handle, but to the mom you just made her day. You stopped the mad house from getting further out of control. If you are an aunt who doesn’t have children, you may not understand the whole reason she is so thankful. If you are a mom yourself you get it cause you’ve been in her position before. 

~ Katy Schmidt                                                                                                                                 The Nurturing Doula, LLC                                                                                                          Birth Doula, CPST and CBE                                                                                                           805-791-8325                                                                                     http://www.thenurturingdoula.com                                            thenurturingdoula@hotmail.com

-This blog post is dedicated to my wonderful sister in law Whitney, She has helped me with my kids on more occasions than I can count.

 

 

birth story

JM’s Birth Story

schmidtkathryn

My first experience with child birth was a beautiful but extremely scary experience. At 22 weeks my son was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome so I had to deliver at C.S. Mott Children’s hospital in Ann Arbor which is 3 hours from my home. Because of that they scheduled to induce me at 38 weeks. When they began inducing me they started with a prostaglandin strip but it had to be removed because with every contraction his heart rate would drop so instead they had to dilate me with a foley bulb manually. I went almost my entire labor with no pain medication and I received help from a doula that the hospital provided for me and she was great. She helped me find a variety of different positions to labor in and positioning balls to use. About a hour before he was born I received a shot of morphine and an epidural. Shortly after the epidural I was moved to an operating room to deliver as a precaution. My son was delivered by a student with assistance from her teacher and placed immediately on my chest for momentary skin to skin and my husband got to cut the umbilical cord. Then he was taken to another room attached to the OR for evaluation and I got to see him momentarily on my way back to my room. It was a scary experience but I was always reassured by my nurses and doctors and when the whole thing was overwhelming they would step back and give me some space to collect myself.

With my second son my water broke the morning after my due date and I was admitted to the hospital. I was there for 24 hours without going into labor so they started me on an antibiotic drip and pitocin to induce me. I went through most of this labor with no pain meds but received stadol shortly before he was born. The nurses helped me labor in a variety of positions which allowed the whole process go the way I wanted it to go. When he was born he was placed on my chest and proceeded to pee on me right after my husband cut his umbilical cord. He was able to stay in the room with us and it was a very rewarding experience all around.

Thank you for reading my birthing journey.
~ JM