Moms need a break

Time and time again moms stay at home or working, loose their mind. A lot of men don’t realize we need a break. They see us as the strong ones who hold the family together, and we do. We moms need to remember we DESERVE a break more often. I know I know “but its so hard to stop and take a break cause such and such is going on”. Life is hard enough on us! Taking a break, even if its only 5 minutes, helps. Just some time to stop and clear our mind from the stresses of life. As a mom you take on many tasks and hold your self accountable. I myself find it hard to keep every plate balanced. Sometimes we need to not take on so many things, so we aren’t as stressed.

Husbands take note when your wife/partner seems a little more moody than normal, or short with you and the kids, let her know she’s doing a great job. Then tell her you’d like to give her a break. Take over for her, whether she’s cooking dinner, helping with homework what ever is going on. Tell her you love her and you want to give her a break. You realize she may feel stretched thin. I know myself as a mom I feel like because I’m the “stay at home” parent I feel like i have to do it all. This isn’t the case, no matter who you live with everyone can help out.

Moms when your husband/partner helps out and they aren’t doing it the way you would step back, they’re handling it. Unless its a child, who could get seriously injured, then by all means step in. But if your husband/partner who NEVER fills the dishwasher starts to, walk away and let him/her. Go take a much needed break.



Don’t forget about your friends. A girls lunch, girls night or just coffee helps a lot! Meet up with your person. They know you. They are there for you when life gets crazy. If you are a mom who doesn’t have that person. Go out of your comfort zone and find one! You need a person who will stand beside you, accept you for you, and tell you when your loosing your mind that you are a great mom! Because YOU are a GREAT mom!!


~ The Nurturing Doula                                                                                                         ♥Nurturing families through pregnancy, birth and parenthood♥

P.S. Sometimes self care is you showering while your family is eating dinner without you, because you know you’ll be too tired to shower after you eat dinner.


Your marriage after baby

Having a baby can be draining. Draining on your body, on your mind, on your partners mind and body, but also on your marriage. I may not be a marriage expert, however I do have 10 years under my belt and its still going strong. These are some things to hep your marriage after having a baby, or even if you have kids now.

Help each other with the house hold duties every day. If one of you works away from home and the other doesn’t, that doesn’t exclude them from helping. Helping out could mean something as little as taking out the trash or starting a load of laundry. Something little goes a long way.

Take time out each day for each other to regroup. Even if its just 5 minutes. Keep each other in the loop about what happened while one was away. Tell each other about your accomplishments that day and your struggles. When one of you struggles the other should be there to lift you up and remind you to keep trying.

marriage after baby

Have a date night or a date day once a month at least. When those important marriage milestones come up, 1 years, 5 years, 10 years, 15 years and so on, make sure to make your date nights a little more meaningful. Dates do not have to be extravagant, away from home or kid free. Dates have to be about the two of you, talking and enjoying each others company.

marriage after babymarriage after baby








Try to take care of each others needs every day, no I don’t mean in the bedroom. I mean, do something for them, something they already have planned to do. Ie: make their lunch, prep the coffee.

Hug each other, at least 20 seconds long. It has been proven hugs can increase your serotonin levels. Serotonin helps decrease stress, reduce anxiety, reduce tension and much much more. Try googling hugs and why we need them.marriage after baby

Kiss each other good night, Every night. Try your hardest not to go to bed angry at each other. Yes, even the happiest marriages have fights. Whats important is you need to talk about it. A resolution doesn’talways happen

Remember, when life starts getting crazy remember how you were together before kids. Remind your spouse of that funny memory. It helps life slow down a little.marriage after baby

Take a break from each other. Sometimes you need a break to regroup your self and thats ok. I don’t mean a break where you don’t come home, I mean take a couple hours to your self or go out with a friend.

Friends have friends that are both of yours and friends that are just yours. Have friends who respect you enough to “lie” to you when your butt really does look fat in that outfit, and to tell you the truth when you need it. Friends who you count on to just let you vent so you aren’t so angryat your spouse.

Sex as often as you both agree on. It is important. Sex makes the two of you open up and communicate on a deeper level than you do with anyone else. When you open up and communicate in the bedroom, its easier to open up and communicate outside of the bedroom.

Remember to talk, hug, laugh, cry, have sex, and care for each other!

~ The Nurturing Doula

Katy Schmidt




Fear and Birth

The arrival of your baby is an exciting time in your life. You’ve had your first ultrasound and you’ve prepared the nursery. Now you are taking child birth classes. A mother of two previous children chimes into the conversation, she says how her previous births went. Your excitement quickly dissipates and becomes fear. What ifs rush into your head. What if I don’t make it to the hospital? Am I going to have my baby in the car?! My husband works an hour and a half away… what am I going to do if my water breaks and he isn’t home? I don’t feel comfortable showing everyone my lady parts. Labor and pushing is going to hurt so much. Can I handle labor? My mother-in-law says I should get an epidural, but I do not want pain medicine. I don’t want the doctor to tell me what is going to happen, as if I don’t have a choice. I don’t want to tear like that woman in class did. Cesarean section sounds so scary. If my baby and I have life threatening complications, what will happen to us? What if the baby isn’t healthy? My baby is going to need so much, how am I going to take care of her? What If I can’t handle being a mom?! Stop, take a breath, its all going to be ok.

Your mind is powerful! When a negative thought comes into your mind before labor it places a negative impact on your birth. When your mind and body are fearful of labor and birth, it will cause tension, which in turn causes pain and then more fear. This is a vicious cycle. Am I saying you wont feel any pain at all? No, I am saying there are ways to help ease the pain so fear doesn’t over come your brain. Tension and fear can stall or stop labor. This may introduce an intervention you do not want. Fighting the pain causes more fear. Negative thoughts make fear more powerful. Which makes your pain feel worse. All you’ll want to do is run away from the pain. Running away won’t help. Let positive images flood your mind and the pain will lessen. ““We need to always remember that mothers who are afraid tend to secrete the hormones that delay or inhibit birth””

Oxytocin is a hormone our body produces, it is often called the love hormone. The love hormone is released during sex. This love hormone is what gives women contractions. When your body is in labor, having contractions brought on by oxytocin, contractions can be stalled and or more painful because of fear. Adrenaline rises from fear and stress. This stops the release of oxytocin. A reduction in oxytocin slows and/or disrupts labor progress in early and active labor. In transition, adrenaline rises to help the laboring mother push through to the end.

Do not let fear take over your mind before labor. Try preparing yourself and your body for birth. Know all your options. Gather the person or people you would like on your birth team.  Talk to them about what you would like to happen and what you would do if and when unforeseen circumstances come to light. This is YOUR birth. Take charge of your contractions. This pain is not forever. You can get through this, you will get through this!fear and birth

Remember all pregnancies and all labors are different. Birth can be wonderful, just remember to take the contractions one at a time and just breath. Its going to be ok, you’re going to be ok! I hope you have a wonderful birth. If you would like more information on creating a great birth team please contact The Nurturing Doula, LLC.

~Best Birthing Wishes

The Nurturing Doula, LLC

Katy Schmidt





The I word ?! Inductions…


They can be intense, if you don’t know how to navigate them. Im here to tell you the process, the options, the side effects and when they are necessary or not.

“Inducing labor is the artificial start of the birth process through medical interventions or other methods.”(1) Inductions can start many different ways and end many different ways. The one thing that is the same at every labor and induction is, you have options. Know your options, ask questions and remember to use your BRAIN: Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, and No or Nothing. Some times decisions need to be made quickly though. So knowing your options before anything happens is key. As a doula and child birth educator I know there are times inductions are necessary and other times they are not.


  • High blood pressure
  • Hypertension
  • Bleeding in pregnancy
  • Preeclampsia
  • Gestational diabetes
  • Water broken longer than 24 hours
  • A pregnancy past 42 weeks
  • A uterine infection known as chorioamnionitis


  • “Big baby”
  • Timing for Drs benefit

Labor Brain InductionsThe process:                                                                                                                                          Most hospitals have you arrive in the morning, depending on the circumstances with your induction they may start by inserting a prostaglandin into your vagina. A prostaglandin is a suppository, it’s  inserted into the vagina. It can help the cervix soften and efface. Your prostaglandin may kick start your labor starting regular contractions, if this happens it is possible you may not need pitocin. Pitocin is a synthetic form of oxytocin which the body produces naturally during labor. Depending on how you labor is going thus far and how you and baby are tolerating the medication, you may be able to wait and see  if your labor pattern picks up before starting pitocin. If pitocin is needed you will be hooked up to an iv if you don’t already have one, your pitocin will drip with your iv fluids.  Pitocin helps your contractions become more frequent and regular. It can make your contractions become so intense that they are too much for you to handle without pain relief. Most of the time, after pitocin is started, your dosage increases every 30 min.

Pitocin side effects (2)

  • redness or irritation at the injection site
  • loss of appetite
  • nausea
  • vomiting
  • cramping
  • stomach pain
  • more intense or more frequent contractions (this is an expected effect of oxytocin)
  • runny nose
  • sinus pain or irritation
  • memory problems

Tell your doctor if you experience serious side effects of Pitocin including:

  • fast, slow, or uneven heart rate;
  • excessive bleeding long after childbirth;
  • headache
  • confusion
  • slurred speech
  • hallucinations
  • severe vomiting
  • severe weakness
  • muscle cramps
  • loss of coordination
  • feeling unsteady
  • seizure (convulsions)
  • fainting
  • shallow breathing or breathing that stops
  • dangerously high blood pressure (severe headache, blurred vision, buzzing in your ears, anxiety, confusion, chest pain, shortness of breath, uneven heartbeats, seizure).

Another option for your induction is a foley/cooks catheter. Foley/Cooks catheter(3): a catheter with a ballon at one end and a bag of saline at the other end. The balloon is placed just inside of your cervix to help dilate your cervix. The balloon is slowly filled with saline. Sometimes your nurse will place a string around the catheter with an additional bag of saline attached to it for added traction to help more with dilation and effacement.

Catheter Side effects(3)

  • acute transient febrile reaction
  • non-reassuring FHR tracing
  • vaginal bleeding
  •  pain necessitating removal of catheter
  •  altered fetal presentation from vertex to breech

Inductions can be quick or they can be long. It’s a coin toss.

During your induction to help your labor further along with the least interventions make sure you stay hydrated, and you move around as much as possible. If you cannot be up and moving stay as upright as possible. When prostaglandins are administered you may have to stay reclined for a period of time. The birth ball and peanut ball can be your best friend in labor, Both can help your hips stay wide so baby has a chance to move lower to further along your labor. Your birth team can help you relax and remember to breathe. I often see my clients during a contraction holding their breath. I promise you the easiest way to try to avoid the annoying oxygen mask is to remember to breathe. Talk with your birth team well before your induction, about what pain relief you would like. What ever your choice is remember its your choice, not theirs, not the nurses, not the Dr’s, and not your families, Its YOUR choice. What ever happens during your labor and delivery, remember to breath and use your BRAIN. I hope you have a wonderful labor and delivery. If you would like more information on preparing for your labor, delivery and bringing your newest addition home contact The Nurturing Doula:

The Nurturing Doula, LLC                                                                                                            Katy Schmidt


* The Nurturing Doula is not a Doctor, please consult your Dr for further information on benefits and risks.


(1)http://americanpregnancy.org/labor-and-birth/inducing-labor/                                         (2)https://www.rxlist.com/pitocin-side-effects-drug-center.htm                                                (3) http://contemporaryobgyn.modernmedicine.com/contemporary-obgyn/content/tags/foley-balloon/transcervical-foley-balloon


Epidural vs No Pain Medication

As a doula I get the feeling most women believe just because I help women cope with the pain I think they should avoid pain medication. This is an incorrect fact! As a doula I believe and know all births are different and all birthing women are different. Some feel they can cope with the pain without pain medication, some don’t, and some want to try to cope without it but are open to it. I do not care which you choose, as long as it is YOUR decision not someone else’s that they forced upon you.

Did you know that more then 50% of laboring mothers use an epidural?

Some Pros and cons of epidurals vs no pain medication:

Epidural Pros

  • allows you to rest from the pain, sometimes you may even be able to sleep
  • with the pain relief some women have a more positive birth experience
  • may give you the extra strength needed to move forward with delivery
  • with the epidural in place you may stay awake if a cesarean is necessary
  • can help you deal with exhaustion and fatigue

Epidural Cons

  • can cause your blood pressure to suddenly drop
  • may get a severe headache
  • slowed or stopped labor
  • the following are side effects from the epidural: shivering, ringing in ears, backache, soreness where needle was placed, nausea, or difficulty urinating.
  • some women find the epidural makes pushing more difficult
  • in rare cases permanent nerve damage may happen where the catheter was inserted
  • baby may have trouble latching on
  • baby might experience respiratory depression, fetal malpositioning, and an increase in fetal heart rate variability, thus increasing the need for forceps, vacuum, cesarean deliveries and episiotomies. *1

For a few hours after the birth, the lower half of your body may feel numb. Numbness will require you to walk with assistance.

“Natural” Pros

  •  freedom to move around during labor
  • allows you to work with your contractions which can speed up labor and delivery
  • during pushing you can choose which position to birth in
  • faster recovery
  • no pain medication can make the birthing woman feel more empowered

“Natural” Cons

  • more fatigue during labor
  • possible increase in blood loss
  • breathing and position changes only provide some pain relief

When deciding pain relief for your labor a delivery remember its YOUR birth, make an informed decision. Do your research, check out americanpregnancy.org for more information.

If you would like help creating a birth wish list, please contact The Nurturing Doula, LLC

~ Katy Schmidt

The Nurturing Doula, LLC


thenurturingdoula@hotmail.comEpidural vs No Pain medication


-Please note I am not a medical provider, talk to your Dr regarding your decisions.-


*1 reference- americanpregnancy.org


Why should you consider hiring a doula? 

You may be thinking wait what ? What’s a doula?

A doula, is someone who helps you navigate through pregnancy, labor, delivery, birth and parenthood. She can provide comfort measures to the laboring mom, give suggestions on positioning during pushing,  and provide information on any pregnancy, labor or parenting subject to moms and dads for them to make their own informed decision. Doula’s do not give medical advise or perform any medical tasks.

Ask me how to have your best birth, is my motto. When moms or dads ask I respond with first, a goofy “Hire a doula!” but in reality its not for everyone. I understand that!

So how can you have your best birth?  Research your options, hire a doula if you choose, remember it’s never too late to discuss options, and remember you can and have a right to say no.

Hire a doula

Why consider hiring a doula?

A doula is many things

  • She is your confidant when you doubt yourself
  • She’s your cheerleader
  • She’s your spouses cheerleader
  • I love being able to guide a spouse into where the laboring mom needs him or her, this helps meet both of your needs
  • She’s your google when you don’t want opinions you want facts
  • She’s your shoulder to cry on when your unsure of your parenting or feeding or why won’t baby sleep
  • She can be your sanity when your baby won’t stop crying or won’t sleep
  • She can become a great friend
  • No birth is better than the rest.
  • No mom is better than the rest.
  • We’re all doing what we can, when it comes at us.
  • A doula can help get you on the easier track to Labor, birth and parenthood.
  • She provides non judgmental support, reassurance your heading in the right direction.
  • She can be your sounding board when you need to make a decision
  • She can provide and teach comfort measures while your in labor

Having a doula is know to reduce the following:

  • intenseness of pain
  • time your in labor
  • cesarean rates
  • induction rates
  • postpartum depression
  • stress and anxiety
  • epidural requests

And to increase the following:

  • satisfaction of birth outcome
  • the bond between mother and baby
  • the bond between mother and partner

A Doula is for all moms

  • vaginal birth
  • cesarean
  • no pain medication
  • epidural
  • hospital birth
  • home birth


Hardwork-001As a doula it is my job to help you find your way to labor, birth and parenting. After all they say it takes a village to raise a child! The same goes for pregnancy and birth. Think of a doula like pregnancy and baby navigation. Pregnancy, birth and parenting can be magical, beautiful and easy. It also can be and is, HARD work. It can take a toll on us mentally and physically.

Having a doula can ease those uncertain, doubtful and stressful times.

Sometimes moms and dads need me to provide comfort measures for most of the birth. Sometimes they only need me for suggestions or even just for moral support before the birth. What ever your pregnancy need I’ll be there rooting you on!

I hope you have an amazing pregnancy, labor and birth. Your going to be an amazing parent! You got this!

For further information on hiring a doula or to schedule your complementary consult please contact:

The Nurturing Doula, LLC

Katy Schmidt







Effective Birth Plans

Effective Birth Plans

You’re talking to your best friend who made a birth plan for her first child and she says    “ Don’t make a birth plan, they never work out!” “ Birth never goes as planned”  So you think to yourself, Oh ok I won’t make one.

True, most birth plans don’t “work”. However an effective birth plan is just a guide line of how you hope your birth goes. Writing a birth plan does not mean your birth will be on point to a T with said plan. Remember a birth plan is like a road map. A road map can have detours. Detours, you will be ready for because of your birth plan.  An effective plan provides answers to your wishes if they arise. It helps your partner, nurses, and Dr, remember your wishes so they do not need to interrupt you mid contraction. Along with that having a written plan doesn’t mean the staff wont check with you for a procedure. Your birth plan also does not guarantee a certain birth experience.

So how do you make an effective birth plan? As you read, watch and learn about labor, delivery, and postpartum, write down what you want for your own birth. Research your options for each procedure and policy at your hospital. Also make sure you write down what you don’t want or hope to avoid. A birth plan can look like the one below, (feel free to print and use), you can write your own wishes, or you can schedule a birth plan writing session with me and receive a visual birth plan.

I like to play the “what if” game with my clients, it helps them with writing a plan. If they don’t want to write a plan we still play the game so they understand their options. So many things happen when you give birth. I love helping my clients learn their options for their birth experience. The majority of moms talking to a pregnant mom, mainly talk about the pain from labor and suggest receiving an epidural. Which is fantastic for pain relief but did you know this is not the only option for pain relief? Labor, Delivery and your newborn come with many different options, knowing them and making your choice helps you have a more satisfying birth experience.

For more information on pain relief and birth plans contact The Nurturing Doula.

Click the link for more information on visual birth plans.

Katy Schmidt


Birth PlanBirth plan 2



all, pregnancy

Baby’s making my back hurt!

“Chiropractic care is health maintenance of the spinal column, discs, related nerves and bone geometry without drugs or surgery. It   involves the art and science of adjusting misaligned joints of the body, especially of the spine, which reduces spinal nerve stress and therefore promotes health throughout the body.” (http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/chiropractic-care-during-pregnancy/ )

Chiropractic care during pregnancy can be very beneficial. Make sure you speak to your health care provider before beginning any chiropractic care. Some benefits of chiropractic’s during pregnancy are maintaining a healthier pregnancy, a balance in your pelvis, can possibly control symptoms of nausea, may reduce your labor and delivery time, and can relieve back, neck and joint pain. With a balanced pelvis your baby has room for development and room to move into the optimal position for birth. Also this may make a breech or posterior presentation at birth less likely. If your baby is not in the optimal fetal position your Chiropractor may suggest the Webster Technique.

The Webster Technique is a chiropractic sacral adjustment to help align the mothers pelvis and nervous system function. Which balances the pelvic muscles and ligaments, reducing torsion in the uterus. Originally this technique was used to help a baby get into the optimal position.  Recent studies have shown this technique has more than just positioning benefits. This technique may help with sleep, low back pain, relaxation in the mother, and a possibility of a quicker labor and delivery. It is important to know that the Webster Technique is not guaranteed to change the position of the baby. It simply allows the baby the room it needs to turn. Some Chiropractors do this adjustment 3-4 times before calling it quits. There could be an underlying cause to the Webster Technique not working for you and your baby.

I talked with my go-to chiropractor in Lapeer, Dr Teresa Cummings, about chiropractic care in pregnancy.

This is what she had to say.

“Chiropractic can be valuable throughout all the stages of pregnancy. It can help with the aches and pains of a normal pregnancy. Chiropractic can help decrease pelvic pain, sciatic pain, rib pain, back and neck pain, and headaches. By keeping your pelvis and sacrum in the proper alignment it may also help make labor and delivery a little easier.

There is also a chiropractic technique called Webster’s Technique which helps the correction of breach babies. With Webster’s Technique the chiropractor adjusts the sacrum and releases the round ligament on the opposite side. This allows the uterus to come into a more neutral position allowing baby to turn.”

Chiropractic care is as important in pregnancy as when you aren’t pregnant. Take care of yourself!

Katy Schmidt



Early Labor Emotions 

This is an exciting time! This is the day you’ve been waiting for since you found out you were pregnant, maybe longer. You may feel anxious and excited. Maybe even a little nervous. In early labor your emotions can pave the way for how your labor progresses. Trust in your body and mind to help you through your contractions. Remember this is the longest stage of labor and to relax, go on with your daily activities. Keeping yourself busy will keep your mind off of labor. If your main focus is on your labor in this stage labor is likely to stall or take longer.


Some things to try to distract your self or maybe even your partner would be:

  •  watching a movie
  • go for a walk
  • take a nap
  • play a game or put together a puzzle
  • continue with your plan for the day

5 relaxation or stress relieving techniques to help during early labor are :

  • light massage from head to toe
  • slow deep breathing
  • listen to calming music
  • take a warm bath
  • imagine a relaxing place

For more information on the Early labor please contact The Nurturing Doula, LLC to schedule your personalized Childbirth Education Class.
Katy Schmidt



Postpartum Expectations

The birth of your baby is an exciting time in your life. Before your baby arrives you may think to yourself how your life after baby comes, will be wonderful. You may think it’s going to be magic rainbows, lollipops, and sparkly unicorn poop, I’m sorry it’s not. Don’t get me wrong there will be more happy moments then sad. Life as a new mom is hard, sometimes sleepless, selfless work.

Motherhood is a job that takes its toll on all of your body.

After your baby arrives it may take time for you to get back to feeling like yourself. The media makes life after baby magical and it can be, just not all the time.

Physical recovery after birth is hard on a body. You may expect to bounce back to your pre-pregnancy weight after birth and for most women thats not the case.

Every body and every pregnancy is different. Take it easy on your body.

Getting back into an exercise routine too early can make your recovery take longer. Before baby if you were working out regularly you may bounce back quick or it may take time. It’s important to remember the weight you gained in pregnancy took min moths to put on, it may take you nine months to loose it. If you had a vaginal birth you are going to be sore, like really sore. Pushing a baby out uses all of your vaginal muscles, which is hard work, so you will likely be swollen.

If you are brave enough to look in a mirror at your freshly birthed a baby vagina remember it will go back to normal.

The ice pack pads, witch hazel pads and the perineal irrigation bottle will be your vagina’s best friend for a little while. When you birth by cesarean your body not only heals from the incision site but also your uterus. Abdominal muscles were cut open to help deliver your baby. These muscles will hurt, so the Dr will prescribe pain medication which can make you constipated and have hemorrhoids. Your uterus will need to be massaged no matter how you birthed your baby. This process will be painful, it feels like contractions. Another way your uterus shrinks back to its normal size is through breastfeeding. Breastfeeding releases the hormone oxytocin, which can cause uterine contractions and lochia. Lochia or postpartum bleeding will happen for a few weeks after birth, yes even If you had a cesarean. For some women breastfeeding comes natural in the beginning and others have to work hard to keep up. Breastfeeding can cause sore cracked nipples, this can be due to positioning or latch. Every one will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps, they are right and they are wrong. You can try to sleep when the baby sleeps but then your less likely to get a shower in, eat or use the restroom. This is when good postpartum support comes in to save the day.

The process of birth brings on many emotions. The media has left this stipulation on birth that you should be happy and glowing with a happy baby in your arms.

This does happen on occasion, but most of the time you are mentally and physically exhausted. There is a chance you could feel overwhelmed. The needs of your baby are coming before your partner, your household, and your own needs.

Anxiety can creep in and think to your self “Am I enough, can I do this?!”.

For the first couple weeks you may cry, feel sad or irritable for no reason, this is called the baby blues. Baby blues can last about two weeks. If you are feeling depressed and/or your baby blues last more than a couple weeks ask your Dr or postpartum doula for help. You may have postpartum depression. Medication is not always the answer to this mental illness, support groups and counseling can help a lot. Your emotions can take over your mind if you let them. You may feel guilty if you take time for yourself. Please try not to feel guilty for taking time to care for yourself.

I believe taking care of yourself the hardest and most important part of your postpartum life.

About six weeks after you have a baby your partner may want to have sex. For most women they don’t even want to be touched, let alone have sex. This pressure from your partner can put a strain on your relationship. Try to remember your relationship came before your baby. If you make time for just the two of you your relationship will become stronger than ever.

The first hour of life is important for bonding between the baby and its family. Skin to skin during this first hour helps the baby regulate it’s temperature and helps with milk production. Bonding with your baby is physical and emotional. Im sure you imagine the moment you meet your little bundle of joy like a scene from a movie. A happy mom, a smiling dad and a cooing baby swaddled and looking up at its parents. This can happen, but most of the time mom has a look of relief on her face. Relief that the baby is out labor is done, I can sleep and I can eat but mostly sleep. If you don’t get to bond right away its ok. Bonding is not about the quantity it is about the quality.

The reality of bonding after your baby is born, your hair is a mess, you can’t remember if you brushed your teeth, and  your baby is just staring up at you like you rule the world and you are an amazing mom!

Whether this is your first baby or your fifth baby you will learn baby love is real. Bonding can look different for every parent and even different from the first baby to the next baby. Remember if you are feeling down to talk to someone about it.

Feeding your baby can be stressful. It can take a toll on your emotions and on your personal life.

Before your baby is born you may expect your baby to eat, sleep, poop, pee, and be happy.

In reality breastfeeding is hard, tiring, and can hurt. In the early days and months your baby and you are getting to know each other and learning how to breastfeed together. Take time helping your new nursling learn to properly latch. Try not to get frustrated. Ask for help from your postpartum doula or a lactation consultant if you are having any problems. When your milk first comes in your breast will feel full and heavy, nursing should relieve the pain. If they feel like you might have rocks are on your chest you may be engorged. If you cant get baby to latch on right away try hand expressing some milk either into a bottle or onto a spoon to feed to baby later, then try getting baby to latch on again. Some mothers find after trying to breastfeed they are unsuccessful and thats ok! You can try pumping to express milk if you cant not get baby to latch.

A fed baby is a happy baby.

Remember how you feed your baby isn’t important, you are caring for your baby and don’t let the people who say other wise affect you. Also try not let unsuccessful breastfeeding get to you. If you are feeling down about it try talking to someone like a postpartum doula, a counselor or a friend.

When you have a baby you will need time to recover, heal and bond with your baby. Time to rediscover your self, and create a new normal. This time requires support. Many moms expect family and friends to come over and help with what ever you might need. Unfortunately most family and friends only come to see the baby. Before baby is born you can make a post part plan. A postpartum plan can help you organize the chores and other house hold items you can have people help you with when they come over. I’ve had moms post a note on the door asking people to run a load of laundry, hold the baby so mom can shower or eat, or bring food for the family. All of these things are so helpful to a family when a new member is born. A postpartum doula is an awesome support person. Postpartum doula’s help with light household chores, make sure you get a meal and a nap, help with feeding issues and much more.

Life with a new baby can be wonderful, terrifying, tiring, sleepless and beautiful.

Remember there will be a time when all of the scary things I just told you will fade away. You will feel like you again, you might even feel like new you. Take time for yourself even if its just a few short minutes. Enjoy those sweet newborn moments where your baby is content and starring at his or her beautiful mom.

You are enough, you are a strong capable mother!

If you are interested in learning how to prepare for postpartum life please contact The Nurturing Doula, LLC for information on a personalized Childbirth Education class that includes preparing for postpartum life.
Katy Schmidt


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